Valentine's Day exists to make other women jealous. It's a woman's time to show off her man and how perfectly he treats her and feel just a little bit giddy with romance. It's just one day, and sometimes these things need to be planned. After all, you wouldn't leave your wedding day to chance, would you?
You need to decide what you want from your Valentine's Day. Imagine a Valentine's Day that will leave you feeling satisfied and happy. Now write a list, but add a little realism. If there's no way you can see your tone-deaf love performing a beautiful serenade, then cross that off your list. What can you reasonably expect from your partner? What do you need in order to feel special? Who do you want to make jealous and why? If this last question consumes your desires for Valentine's Day, perhaps it's worth talking over with a therapist, and it's probably worth crossing off your list and trying to live without it. However, if this is a little harmless attention-seeking and validation, and is non-threatening to your partner, then leave it listed.
Re-write your list (make it more tactful if you feel you need to). Is there anything on your list that jumps out at you as something you actually want to do yourself? Some of those crafty Valentine ideas can be a lot of fun and some ideas are just too good to give up. Doing something nice and romantic to surprise your partner can put you both in a good mood.
Now that your list is refined and narrowed down, hand it to your partner. No one can read your mind. If you want your Valentine's Day to go a certain way, you have to tell your partner exactly what they need to do to make you happy.
You might also like to read this article: Ending the Battle of the Sexes
If you would like to try and understand the opposite sex better, read these articles by Alison Armstrong:
Or you may like these books:
What Women Want Men to Know by Barbara De Angelis
Understanding Men by Lance McKeithan
If you think you're being manipulated or abused, you need to read this book:
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft